In my last blog, I discussed the importance of acknowledging and understanding your fears if you want to create your amazing dream life. These fears often mask themselves as excuses but if we take an honest and deep look under the covers we will likely find the true culprit. Hidden fears. These fears cripple our ability to dream big and achieve bigger. It is like an eagle who is ready to soar but has one wing tied down. Start first by taking the critical step of writing down each surface excuse for why you are not actively pursuing your dream life and then dig deep to identify the true fear behind it.
When you have a list of about three excuses or reasons as we like to say when we are being kind to ourselves, start by focusing on the top reason. In your mind, what is that number one reason you are not creating your dream life? By creating I mean establishing the vision, laying the foundation and taking deliberate action.
Now, let’s really focus on that one top reason. List the top 5 things you fear could happen based on this excuse. For instance, maybe I would love to start a business. If my number one reason for not proceeding is I don’t have enough money. My list of top five would be 1) I would probably fail because I don’t have the money to get started 2) I might not be able to pay my bills and start a business 3) my spouse would never go for it taking extra money 4) it is going to cost too much 5) I don’t want to get a loan.
So now that we understand some of our underlying fears, we can take a very clinical approach to dealing with them one by one.
- I would probably fail because I don’t have the money to get started
- This might happen. But just as this is possible, it is also possible that you might succeed. There is no dream gate agent who is going to slam the door on you. Not having the money is simply a current state that has no bearing on your future state unless you allow it to.
- I might not be able to pay my bills and start a business
- Again, possibly. But have you actually done the math? Have you looked at options to manage finances to determine what would be needed for the business vs household expenses? Have you considered additional or alternate sources of income to keep things going while you establish your business?
- My spouse would never go for it taking extra money from the family
- Have you discussed it with your spouse? Did you approach it in a way that sounds half-baked and incredulous or did you lay out a plan that helps your spouse see the big picture? The vision you share should also help your spouse feel secure that the family’s basic needs will still be met. If you are committed you will need to work through this in a very deliberate way.
- It is going to cost too much
- How much would it cost to get started? Exactly how much is too much? Is there an option to start small and build as you grow?
- I don’t want to get a loan
- Are you relying on common misconceptions and stereotypical ideas that loans are bad things? What if you could get a loan for $20,000 that will ultimately provide the structure and marketing need to generate $200,000 of income? Would it be worth it? Remember, everything is about perspective.
What I see in all of these concerns is the fear of taking risks and fear of failure. The best way to manage fear of risk is to ensure you have properly vetting the path and the process so that the risk is not reckless. The risk will always be there but it is a necessary challenge if you truly want to excel. While you cannot eliminate risk, you can certainly manage it.
You see sometimes fear is not based on reality. It is simply a result of preconceived ideas we have in our head. To deal with them, leave the feelings behind and focus on logically addressing each concern to prove to yourself that although the concern is real, it is not insurmountable and should not be used as an excuse stifles our progress. Your subconscious brain will take these fears and turn them into reality because it does not know the difference, after all that is what it has been fed. If you provide your brain with a different source of food and energy, it will respond in kind and think differently; it will think in a way more congruent with your goals.
To start creating your amazing dream life, manage the risks and fears you face and keep on moving. Move from fearful to fearless!
Rhonda Y. Williams, The Dream Life Coach
Originally posted on Quora