Fear: The Number One Dream Killer

The Dream Journey

When we are young and fearless we are filled with boundless dreams. I want to be a doctor, a nurse, an astronaut, and the list goes on. We likely push back on anyone who say we can’t with the response “why not?” It is a beautiful thing to watch as all the adults smile and revel in the passions of a child. “Isn’t that just adorable?”

As we grow and begin to experience the world, those dreams tend to become more inhibited. At first, healthy doubts as we begin considering the path forward. Now, it doesn’t seem so easy. The complex series of tasks required to accomplish the goal unfolds and you start to look at them with sobering reality. So much to do.

Let’s move further along in our journey and somewhere along the way these dreams that you were once so passionate about have been placed on the shelf and are now dull and dusty. After all, life happens and you find yourself entrenched in a way that feels like it would take the jaws of life to change direction. So at this point the dream may not be completely dead, but it is certainly on life support.

The Problem

So, what’s the problem? At first glance it seems pretty simple. There is no way I can pursue my dream with my current full-time job. My family life is too demanding and I simply don’t have the time. I would like to but I don’t have the skills or the knowledge I need to get started. I don’t have the money to make it happen. These may be just the tip of the iceberg. And while all of these may be real obstacles, I challenge you to look a little deeper and you may be surprised by the real culprit. Hidden fears.

At first mention of the word fear, you may scoff. I’m not afraid. But think about it. Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Fear lurks in deep dark places and masquerades as something else on the surface. Let’s take the first excuse… there is no way I can pursue my dream with my current full-time job. In this example, fear of loss of stability or financial income is in the driver’s seat. As you can image, this can be a pretty powerful inhibitor.

The Solution

Step 1: Most of the excuses we use for not moving forward are based on hidden fears. Like an onion, we need to peel away the many external layers. This may not be easy but it is necessary. Take a long open and honest look at what’s really holding you back. Be unapologetic in your quest to get into those deep dark areas and shine light on the fears lurking in the darkness.

Step 2: Next I want you write down each surface excuse and the true fear behind it. This will give you a sense of what you are dealing with and will also serve to provide you with a path forward. In my next article, I’ll discuss how to begin tackling these fears to create forward momentum.

Step 3: Share your number one fear below. Let’s open up the conversation to get you moving!

So you see, if you are going to design and live the life you deserve, I encourage you to start by identifying those deep dark fears. When you do, you will find the true barriers you need to deal with allowing you to move one step closer to creating your most amazing life!


Rhonda Y. Williams, The Dream Life Coach

Originally posted on Quora

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